Greetings!
It’s been quite some time since I’ve blogged. I wish I could keep it up, but I can never seem to find a time to do it. Yesterday at work, it’s been pretty slow, so I figure, why not. I’ll take a little time to update.
Well, as far as work goes, it’s the same. One of my supervisors left before Christmas, so there’s been quite an adjustment to dealing with the crazy boss. I have been given a pretty hefty project of keeping track of probation students. It’s weird how I got this project, but I’m doing pretty well with it, so I guess I’ll just chalk it up to new experiences and skills. I think in my next job, it’ll be very helpful actually to have worked with academic discipline students. I think just about every other job I’ve seen has required that sort of background. So I’m happy to be working with them. Well…happy to be on the project, not so much happy to deal with the students. It’s funny, but a lot of the students are perplexed about the fact that they are on some sort of probation. It’s like, when your grades are so low, why wouldn’t you expect to be placed on some sort of disciplinary track? I guess in h.s., if you weren’t doing well, nothing really happened. I don’t know what that’s like, as a held a 3.7/3.8 during h.s. I guess schools really don’t do much in terms of placing them on some sort of probation or what not. I guess they tell your parents and expect you to do better. Then if you don’t, you repeat the grade. Hm. If that’s the case, then I suppose I understand why a lot of them give me these crazy looks like, “What do you mean I’m on probation?” You can only imagine the fun I have explaining it all. Tons of confused faces.
Anyway, so my cool boss left and we haven’t heard anything in terms of her being replaced. I have a feeling they won’t replace her and that makes me a bit upset. My crazy boss really needs the help, as she tries to take on everything herself, which ends up being a mess. She cannot keep anything straight in her head. She’s a very neurotic person, that throws herself into all sorts of tasks, all at once! I can’t even understand how she even manages what she does, but it’s a chaotic life. She works 12 hour days and then flaunts it like it’s some badge of honor to stay at work all day, all night and then go home to do MORE work! Who the hell cares! If that’s the life you choose, then so be it. It’s not my life. It’s JUST advising! We aren’t saving lives. We aren’t trying to balance the national budget. It’s just advising. She takes it so serious and yet… I don’t understand what she gets out of it. Headaches, stress, famine (she rarely eats), more stress and more stress. It’s not the life. I refuse to let things get that way for me because at this school, you do all of that work for nothing. No one higher up cares. The students DEFINITELY don’t care. You get a few thank yous, but not enough of them. It’s the type of place where if you have a brain, you can lose it quickly. Instantly. It swells until it pops and you’ve wasted every bit of your power for the student to come say, “I’m withdrawing” or “I didn’t attend any of my classes”. It’s such a waste. I’m over it. At this point, I pick and choose. I put in a lot for those I know will appreciate it. The others… I don’t care.
It’s sad that I don’t care, but I just don’t. It’s too much energy to put in when in the end, most of these students don’t care very much for their education. Take for instance, the student I saw yesterday. Now, he missed the first two weeks of class due to being in the hospital. He was withdrawn by the college (my office) for non-attendance. That’s what we do when you don’t show. So, he comes in, telling me he went today for the first time and his professor said that he would have to talk to my office because he’s been withdrawn. I looked up his record and sure enough, he had been. He says, he had a medical procedure, so that’s why he missed. I asked if he had tried contacting his instructors and he said he couldn’t because he was in the hospital. I wanted to ask more questions, but decided, it’s not worth it. It never really is when they have these sad stories. So I said, you’ll have to speak to the Dean and sent him on his way. By the looks in his eyes, I could tell he was lying. He paused before answering my question about not contacting his professors. I knew something was up. I can always smell a lie. So, I let him tell his story to the Dean. He hesitated on that as well. I can REALLY tell they’re lying when they hesitate when I say they need to see the Dean. They know that if they talk to the Dean, they HAVE to get their story straight. Also, most students who have really been in the hospital, immediately offer to bring in their paperwork as proof. This guy didn’t. Therefore, something is/was fishy. Let him tell the Dean. I’ve got better things to do, like write this blog.
Moving forward, I hope to find other work at some point soon. I’ve really got to start applying for jobs more often. I’ve been seeing some things, but there’s always the issue of location. Being in a relationship is great, but it’s difficult. My bf doesn’t want to live in just any old place. He says he will go where I go, but I know that’s not what he’s really feeling. I’m not trying to move to Montana or anything like that. But there are some other semi-major cities where I’ve seen jobs that I know he would be a little scared to move. And when I say scared, I mean, nervous he wouldn’t find work in his field. That’s completely understandable. I’ve got it easy, in that there are colleges everywhere. I can “easily” find something, even if it’s at another for-profit. But with him.. yea, it’s not going to be easy. I just hope we both find jobs in cities we both want to be in.
Other than work, life is life. I’m craving to get out of this job and into something hopefully more creative. I just hate getting into a routine. I like advising a lot, so hopefully I can find something where I can advise, but also do some other things like plan workshops for students, etc. There’s just more to college than what classes to take and all that. I know that’s important to the students, but I want to open up their minds for what’s to come post-college. Speaking of post-college, I’m thinking about getting my Ph.D. Or Ed.D. I’d love to go back to Michigan to get it. UofM has a great higher ed program. It would be amazing to be back on campus! I miss it so much! There’s so much familiarity there, it’s hard not to want that back since I’ve been feeling like a foreigner in NYC. Now, going back to MI would be tough, as the bf has no interest in moving back there, mainly for work purposes. There really isn’t anything there for him, so if I made the move, it would be solo. That’s not what I want, so I guess a higher degree from there will have to either wait or just disappear. It’s ok, I can definitely look into other schools in other places that will suit the both of us. I think my biggest issue is, WHEN to pursue this degree. Do I try to do it now, in the next year? Or do I wait until after the bf and I get married, have children? I can’t imagine having kids and trying to do a doctorate. I know people do it, but I don’t know if I want to be one of the ones that tries to make it happen.
Right now, it would be perfect since there are no kids to distract me. But there are certainly other distractions that I would need to figure out… social life would take a back seat for sure. Quality time with the boyfriend would too. I also have a problem with just being plain lazy at times…I would definitely have to get back into the academic swing of things. I did it before though, so I can do it again. Basically, I need discipline and focus. I can have a life, but I need to know how to get to work too. Pursuing my doc now or in the very near future, would also mean a change in terms of work. I don’t know what to do about working and pursuing a degree. I NEED to work full-time. With my current schedule, that’s not possible. I would have to completely switch my schedule so that I could go to class in the evening. Right now, that’s not going to happen given the fact that we are short-staffed and NO ONE likes working my shift. So, unless they hire some more staff in the next year (if I’m still there), then I definitely won’t be able to start a doc program. And I doubt they’d let me work part-time. Well, I need to be full-time. It’s too expensive in this city for me not to work full-time.
So, as you can see, there’s lots to consider and I am trying to work it all out in my head. I don’t want to mull it over and over, but I need to put some things out on the table, so I know what move to make next. I’m definitely praying that God will lead me. I’m so stubborn though, I tend to miss what God is trying to tell me. Actually, as I’ve been looking for jobs, I’ve been seeing SO many NYC jobs opening. It’s making really think, hmm, am I supposed to stay? I know even though I’m sick of it, it’s a better place for my bf to be in terms of work. And for me, there’s plenty of schools here, some REALLY great schools in fact. It’s funny because I just saw an opening for a job at a MAJOR university here and I’m thinking I need to apply, even though it’s not quite what I want. It’s a registrar job. Now, I was just talking about doing something different, something that’s more creative. A registrar would not be creative, but it would present a good challenge for me. I think it’s some sort of sign. Not only is it at a great school, but the pay is AMAZING!! It’s nearly double what I make and seriously, if I could get it, we could really live the way we want to in this city. So, I’m thinking I will apply. Nothing to lose with doing so, right?
Well, I suppose I’ve written a novelette here :-) Time to go to sleep (it’s well past my bedtime).
Until we speak again…hopefully sooner rather than later. I definitely have more to share!
-t
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